5 Pregnancy truths no one told you

There’s practically a cottage industry for literature to tell you what to expect when you’re expecting (along with what to do and what to not do under any circumstances or you’ll ruin your baby forever). Some details, though, seem to get left out. Not to worry, though, Imma share these 5 pregnancy truths with you.

Well, ladies with a bun in your oven, let me enlighten you. Some of these secrets aren’t pretty, but such is life. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
The most surprising pregnancy truths no one tells you about! Ten Thousand Hour Mama

The pregnancy truths no one talks about

1. You’re really, really tired. Ok, people probably have told you about the crazy fatigue that’s especially crippling in the first and third trimesters. But though this is Baby #2, I was unprepared for just how exhausted I was and have been! Case in point: Last week I came *this* close to falling asleep while getting my legs waxed.

Speaking of which…

2. You’ll outsource personal hygiene. At some point in the third trimester, your belly will become simply too big for mundane tasks you once took for granted. Clipping your toenails? Good luck reaching your toes; spring for a pedicure. Hairy legs? Might as well splurge on waxing; you won’t have time to shave once Baby arrives anyway.

Pregnant pedicure what no one told you about pregnancy3. You won’t see your lady bits for a long time. There comes a day when every pregnant woman realizes that she can no longer see her vagina. Not that you stare every time you pee—but it’s a little disconcerting to not have the choice to check out that important bit of your anatomy. And no, shockingly, these pregnancy truths do not come up often during girlfriend brunch chats.

4. You’ll be subjected to strangers’ most intimate and personal stories. The other day, Peeper and I took Finn for a walk. There’s construction on our street, and a city worker was standing next to our house waiting for traffic to reroute. In the span of moments, we went from chitchat about wiring electricity for the new house being built to her fertility history, complete with details of surgeries and scar tissue and birth stories and longing for more kids. A baby bump is a magnet for oversharers.

5. You’ll gain monkey superpowers. Well, at least you’ll get really good at picking up things with your feet. Your growing girth makes bending over to retrieve the keys you just dropped unthinkably uncomfortable, so use those prehensile toes. Bonus: You’ll definitely use this skill after Baby is born and you’re carrying her 24/7.

What pregnancy truths were you surprised by? What did I miss?

0 thoughts on “5 Pregnancy truths no one told you

  • June 15, 2015 at 8:03 am
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    Bahaha… so true. This is my second as well and I can’t believe how tired I am… even with the extra energy of the second trimester. Maybe it is because I’m older than I was with my first? I don’t know. My problem is that baby bumps cause ME to be the over-sharer. It isn’t on purpose, I never mean to just blurt everything out. It is like I have word diarrhea.

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    • June 15, 2015 at 8:59 am
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      Hahaha! That’s hilarious. I hope the 2nd trimester lends you a little energy soon!

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  • June 15, 2015 at 8:20 am
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    Ha! I love number 5. I’ve already forgotten almost everything about being pregnant I feel like – my body’s way of tricking me into getting pregnant again I think. 🙂

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    • June 15, 2015 at 8:59 am
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      It must be an evolutionary trick. Why else would we ever become pregnant again??

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  • June 15, 2015 at 9:49 am
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    Like you, I was surprised by the exhaustion. I remember being tired the first time around, but I didn’t remember it being so intense I wanted to cry daily because I couldn’t go to sleep yet.

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    • June 15, 2015 at 9:54 am
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      Word. Plus, you’re chasing another kid when you’re pregnant with #2 – much more tiring than what I was doing the first time, which was typing at a desk all day.

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  • June 15, 2015 at 10:19 am
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    Ha ha! #5 – that one is SO true…and I never thought about it!

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  • June 15, 2015 at 3:24 pm
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    Oh man, it’s the post-partum stuff that I wasn’t prepared for. I know it’s all very gross, but I feel like someone should have told me about all of the things that were going to happen to my body after the baby came out!

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    • June 15, 2015 at 3:55 pm
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      I completely agree. It’s not fun to talk or think about, but if you don’t know it’s coming it’s a million times worse.

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  • June 16, 2015 at 9:33 am
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    bahaha this is great! didn’t know most of these things 🙂

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  • June 17, 2015 at 8:45 am
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    I always enjoy how you can be honest with the bad but always find light in humor like monkey superpowers haha (skillz you keep even after baby arrives perhaps now that you know about their convenience)!

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    • June 17, 2015 at 2:25 pm
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      Aw thanks Pech! What a wonderful compliment. There are some rough parts of pregnancy, especially there at the end, but it’s mixed in with the good – and hilarious!

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  • June 19, 2015 at 4:05 pm
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    Yes! You know, I kinda like the over-sharers. Childbirth knits us together in a way nothing else quite can. 🙂

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    • June 20, 2015 at 7:07 am
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      That’s awesome! I am for the most part happy to overshare (I usually really like people with no filters!) but when you get into more nitty gritty details or horror stories, that’s just not what a pregnant woman who’s delivering soon needs to hear.

      Reply

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