Raising two kids: It gets easier

Last weekend was full—in the best way.

On Friday night, a high schooler who lives across the street babysat the girls while Eric and I went to the opera. We dressed up, met up with friends, had a fancy schmancy drink and enjoyed the Portland Opera’s The Magic Flute. We hadn’t been to the opera—something I truly love—since last Valentine’s Day.

Portland Opera The Magic Flute - Ten Thousand Hour MamaOn Saturday we met up with a friend and his kids for a round of disc golf and swimming in the river at Milo McIver Park. Then we went to my brother’s house, where we played corn hole and let Peeper plant cucumber and lettuce seedlings. To round out the day, friends and their baby came to our house for dinner.

Parenting gets easier riverFinally, on Mother’s Day, we drove up Mt. Hood for a hike along the Salmon River.

Parenting gets easier family hikeOn the drive back home, I reflected on the packed and truly fulfilling weekend. It struck me that we never could have pulled off all those activities—some planned, some impromptu—just a few months ago. 

A path to better days

Raising two kids was hard, and the transition was ugly. We had to adjust to the needs of a newborn, but this time around, we also catered to a preschooler’s schedule and complex feelings. Many days I despaired that I’d never figure out how to balance it all. It always seemed as if everyone’s needs conflicted. Kiwi would need to breastfeed, Peeper would have to use the potty, Finn would need to be walked, and I would realize I hadn’t showered/brushed my teeth/changed out of my pajamas/eaten anything.

We were a mess.

Kiwi’s difficult first months made everything harder. We struggled to get her silent reflux under control. She wouldn’t sleep. Sometimes she’d cry inconsolably.

I cried inconsolably, too. I felt as if I were failing every single day. I couldn’t meet anyone’s needs, I thought. I wanted to be a better mother, but I saw no path to better days. It felt as if I’d always be stuck in the quagmire of no sleep, no relief and no hope.

I wish I could share the photos of our weekend with that mom. See, I’d say, look at everyone smiling. 

parenting gets easier family of fourparenting gets easier sisters riverSee, I’d say, your children are thriving.

See, I’d say, you are already walking the path toward better days.

It gets easier - kids hike

 

10 thoughts on “Raising two kids: It gets easier

  • May 16, 2016 at 8:51 am
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    I’ve had those days, and I have those days still, with different degrees of stress and greater emotional weight with older kids. The path does always lead to better days, for you and your kids. Someone recently wrote “your track record is spotless: you’ve survived 100% of the toughest days of your life!” and it’s so silly and slightly eye-roll inducing, but it makes me smile and is a good reminder that we do somehow all make it through together…and there are always better, awesome days ahead 🙂

    Reply
    • May 17, 2016 at 8:58 pm
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      Making it through together—all the yes. I made it, my husband made it and so did our kids. Sometimes we exasperate each other, but mostly we hold each other up!

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    • May 17, 2016 at 8:58 pm
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      Aw thank you! I have worn this dress to so many fancy occasions. It’s a little Marc Jacobs number I picked up for $15 at a sample sale when I worked at a NY magazine! Thank goodness it still fits and is in good condition. 🙂

      Reply
  • May 16, 2016 at 9:26 am
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    I’ve been there sooooooooo many times. The struggle! Gosh the struggle!!!
    It honestly wasn’t until this year (my kids are now 5), where I’m finally at the point where I really do believe “it gets easier.” They are finally fun to be around. Like really really fun! There are so many ups and downs with parenthood, but it’s so worth it when you start to realize that it DOES get easier. New challenges continue to pop up, but that’s what’s so exciting about the whole adventure.

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    • May 17, 2016 at 8:57 pm
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      Absolutely! It’s so reassuring to know that there will be hard phases, but they’re just phases – so you get through them. I’m glad you guys have reached a bit of an equilibrium too!

      Reply
  • May 16, 2016 at 4:31 pm
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    So happy to hear you had an awesome last weekend and that things are coming out of the crazy phase.

    My youngest is now three – and we still have out of control days – but there are more manageable ones now too 🙂

    You guys look like you had a wonderful time!

    Reply
    • May 17, 2016 at 8:56 pm
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      Coming out of the crazy phase- thank goodness, amirite?

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  • May 17, 2016 at 5:39 pm
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    I wrote a comment before, but J turned off the internet connection just as I went to post it … d’oh!

    The gist was: I hear all this. You’ve done great, and there’s even greater ahead.

    Reply
    • May 17, 2016 at 8:56 pm
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      Thank you Deb! And isn’t it remarkable the tech things our littles can do? Peeper somehow turned our thermometer to celsius, for example, and I haven’t been able to figure out how to turn it back. Now I have to google how much the reading is in fahrenheit!

      Reply

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