Clingy phase 2.0: Extreme toddler face melds

If you’re looking for Kiwi, she’s busy trying to literally merge herself with me. Because she does nothing halfway, she’s taking the clingy phase to new extremes.

What, your toddler doesn’t try to smash herself into you with such force that you suddenly become one person instead of two? Isn’t that attachment parenting?

Oh, my bad. I thought that was totally normal behavior.

Oh my gosh, the clingy toddler phase is taken to the next level: She wants to smash her face into mine! Ten Thousand Hour Mama Oh my gosh, the clingy toddler phase is taken to the next level: She wants to smash her face into mine! Ten Thousand Hour Mama

Taking the clingy phase to the next level

My toddler has totally gone through a clingy phase before. You know the ones: where she cries every time she’s not in your arms, where the separation of a door equals Geneva Convention-defying torture, where you end up peeing with a toddler on your lap because the screaming just isn’t worth doing your business alone.

But lately Kiwi has taken her clingy phase to a whole new level. Yes, she wants to be with me—no, connected to me—at all times. Example: I end up prepping dinner with an almost 2-year-old on my back in a carrier because I just can’t rock my mad knife skills one handed.

But she also tries to meld into me. She pushes her face against mine in what I can only interpret as an attempt to mind (and face) meld. This leaves me breathless—partly because I’m laughing and partly because she is blocking my airway with her face.

Oh my gosh, the toddler clingy phase is taken to the next level: She wants to smash her face into mine! Ten Thousand Hour Mama

I call her my monkey because she clings so tightly to me that I have to peel her off if I want to set her down. And she protests this by climbing up my arms so the closer to the floor she gets, the higher she shimmies up my arms.

It’s exhausting. But it’s also a little hilarious.

Mommy timeouts are good for everyone

I have put myself in mommy timeout more than a few times in recent weeks. When the close contact of this clingy phase gets to be too much, I escape to my bedroom and lock the door.

Having the space to breathe—both figuratively and literally—helps me reset. It gives me the stamina and mental endurance to go about my life with a permanently stuck mini-me.

Yes, sometimes Kiwi overcomes her duct tape MO and runs around solo at the park. And sometimes she’ll become so absorbed in a book that she doesn’t notice that I’m washing the dishes without her. (The nerve!) These moments are lovely. They are a brief respite from the perma-closeness that I both love and hate, sometimes within the span of a few minutes.

“Savor these moments!” people sometimes gush if they see my toddler in my arms, refusing to be put down in the grocery checkout line, say.

But it is nearly impossible to enjoy every moment when you’re in the thick of it.

You know when I appreciate the fact that my toddler wants to press herself so close that we become one being?

When we are separated. By at least a few rooms. For at least a few minutes. With a locked door between us.

Sometimes at the end of these brief breaks I crave her near me again. Just as often I could do with an even longer break. But when I do come back to family life, I am always ready for the way she lights up when she sees me.

“Hi!” Kiwi says. And she runs into my open arms.

8 thoughts on “Clingy phase 2.0: Extreme toddler face melds

  • June 26, 2017 at 10:16 am
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    I am with you on the Mommy Time-Outs. I need them at least a few times per week because I just get touched out or I simply need to take a breather from everything going on in the moment. I also don’t know what I would do if it wasn’t for babywearing – it’s been awhile since I have been comfortable to wear but even my almost 5 year old still requests to be worn on occasion (yay for toddler/preschool carriers).

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    • June 27, 2017 at 4:08 pm
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      Yes. I constantly feel touched out, but it’s true that babywearing doesn’t feel as burdensome as carrying a kid in your arms because at least your hands are free. And my 4 year old totally loves to be worn still! She rode most of the way on our hike just yesterday.

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  • June 26, 2017 at 10:43 am
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    This — “But it is nearly impossible to enjoy every moment when you’re in the thick of it.”!!!
    SO true. I can’t tell you how many times a day someone makes a statement like that. And while I do try to savor and enjoy *many* moments, it is impossible to enjoy them all. I’m with you on hiding, I have to lock myself in my room or a hallway to catch my breath sometimes! It makes me a better mom to have some ME time, then go back to the thick of life with little ones 😉

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    • June 27, 2017 at 4:07 pm
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      Hear, hear! I know those “enjoy every moment”-ers mean well, but sometimes I’m like, REALLY?!

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  • June 26, 2017 at 11:11 am
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    Awww! She’s so sweet but I totally get you needing some *me* time to yourself! Good for you for acknowledging that!

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  • June 26, 2017 at 9:03 pm
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    Motherhood truly is all consuming isn’t it, we give every ounce of our time, energy, strength and patience. We give our bodies to motherhood, in pregnancy while breastfeeding and during their childhood, loving, comforting, being what they need when they want it. Its incredible but can be truly exhausting hey! Mummy time outs sound a great way to re-energise, and its great you can recognise when you need one. Your an incredible Mama.

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    • June 27, 2017 at 4:07 pm
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      Thank you Sam. It sometimes doesn’t feel like it, but sharing that I need mommy time outs may make someone else feel less guilty about it!

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  • June 30, 2017 at 10:59 am
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    Oh how true is this: “it is nearly impossible to enjoy every moment when you’re in the thick of it”. I actually find that being honest with myself about the moments I don’t enjoy makes it so much easier to enjoy much more than i thought i would, including diaper changes and nighttime feeds!

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