6 ways to embrace self-care and feel more like yourself

6 ways to embrace self-care and feel more like yourself

At the beginning of February, I wrote about how I was feeling exhausted—physically, mentally and emotionally. So I made it my monthly resolution to restore and replenish. It’s been just a month since then, which isn’t a ton of time for big changes, but I can say this: I feel so much better. I feel more like myself. And I’m embracing self-care.

Meaningful change is gradual. Like crash diets or cramming for a test, intense bouts of self-reinvention rarely lead to lasting, sustained changes. What’s more, the all-out mentality isn’t exactly refreshing, is it?

So I approached my goal to restore and replenish less as a project and more of a practice in intentionality, self-reflection, self-care and even paring back.

The result: I feel more energized (even though I’m still tired—I blame nearly three years of raising a terrible sleeper). I feel happier. I feel more in touch with those I love. I feel more like myself.

These are the 6 things that helped me get here. I know that self-care isn’t a one-time deal; self-care is an ongoing practice to treat yourself as well as you treat others. So I’ll check in on this post going forward to remind myself of the things that helped me feel more like myself. I hope they help you, too.

6 self-care ideas for moms. Ten Thousand Hour Mama Read more

Moms’ weekend in Hood River, Oregon: Wine, beer, hiking + laughter

Moms’ weekend in Hood River, Oregon: Wine, beer, hiking + laughter

One weekend. Eight moms. Two hikes. Plenty of wine and good food. An absurd amount of snacks. Our Moms’ Weekend trip to Hood River added up to a fun, restorative trip we won’t soon forget.

The eight of us have been friends since we were in moms’ group together, when our kids were babies. In some cases, we’ve known each other since our littles were just weeks old. Now that our kids are toddlers, many of us get together every week for homeschool preschool.

We keep in close touch—but even though we hang out often, we seldom get the chance to truly connect. After all, it’s hard to have a sustained conversation when kids are running sprints in the house, asking for more goldfish crackers and getting into fistfights over Paw Patrol toys.

We needed a Moms’ Weekend.

We planned our Moms’ Weekend in Hood River for months, putting it on the calendar so everyone could plan around it. We chose a house in Hood River, decided who would cook which meal and scoped out fun things to do.

When you have eight moms planning a trip, it’s going to be organized—and awesome.

Once we set out, leaving our families behind (except for one mom who brought her second baby—squee!), we also shed responsibilities. We didn’t have schedules or anywhere to be. We had a wide-open Moms’ Weekend in Hood River with some of our closest friends. It was primed to be epic.

Moms' Weekend in Hood River Oregon: wineries, breweries, hiking and more! Ten Thousand Hour Mama Read more

Finding your people, finding your place: Coworking and community

Finding your people, finding your place: Coworking and community

I have been a paying business member of The Perlene, the all-women social club and feminist coworking space in Portland, Oregon, since last summer. This post was not paid, sponsored or solicited. I wrote it entirely on my own because I think it’s crucial to support women and mothers to find your people wherever they may be.

This feminist coworking space in Portland, OR is where working moms and I find our people. Ten Thousand Hour Mama

Last summer, I found myself in a great place in my career as a freelance writer: I was working consistently. I was writing inspiring stories about nonprofits doing great things and kids changing the world through technology. I was publishing stories in magazines and web sites like Cosmo, Real SimpleScary Mommy and Travel Portland. The problem: I was lonely.

I worked by myself at my home office, and it wasn’t uncommon that I’d get to bedtime and realize I didn’t step outside that day. I talked to folks over the phone but rarely had face-to-face conversations with people outside my family. And I found my productivity dwindling.

I remembered the good feeling I had getting a ton done while working with a colleague at WeWork in Portland. But the community—or lack thereof—was a turnoff. I didn’t feel like I’d find my people among all the tech bros working on four giant monitors.

A little googling led me to a new space that sounded more my speed: The Perlene, Portland’s feminist social club and coworking space. I had the feeling I would find my people here. Read more

From afraid to empowered: The power of breast self-exams

A few weeks ago, I found myself in a thin hospital gown, staring at the speckled ceiling tiles as I waited for my ultrasound technician. The last time I’d done something like this was finding out the sex of my baby, who turned into Kiwi. This time, I was making sure a lump in my right breast, which I found during one of my sort-of regular breast self-exams, wasn’t going to kill me.

I hadn’t been that worried. In fact, I mentioned the lump to a breast health specialist in an offhand way when we were talking about my genetic risk factors for the Big C, since my mom had a very aggressive form of breast cancer at 39. The specialist referred me to an ultrasound tech, “just to be on the safe side.“

So I wasn’t sweating my appointment—until I was half naked, waiting, with nothing to distract me from my spiraling thoughts but the pocked patterns in the ceiling.

Spoiler alert: I’m totally fine. Turns out my boob is “cyst-y,” as the radiologist came in to tell me. (Pretty sure that’s a medical term she learned in very expensive medical school.) So in addition to having post-breastfeeding sad sag, my breast is also lumpy.

Killing it.

But! The cysts are totally benign. And lumpy is much better than deadly.

Doing breast self-exams is one thing every woman can do to protect her health and catch cancer early. Here's how I overcame fear and regained power over my health. Ten Thousand Hour Mama Read more

Clothes for moms who do all the things

Clothes for moms who do all the things

Nearly every mother I know has a hustle. Or three. Or more. There’s something about motherhood these days that practically none of us is “just” a stay-at-home-mom or career mom or a mom period. We’re also entrepreneurs, bloggers, creatives, homeschoolers and so much more—not to mention being a partner, friend, sister, daughter and a whole list of other awesome roles. Enter: clothes for moms that do all the things.

It may sound silly, but my daily style impacts my ability to be so many things at once. (Anyone else think of Hermione and Ron’s interaction in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix? Ron said, “One person can’t feel all that at once, they’d explode.” Hermione replies, “Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn’t mean we all have.” AMEN HERMIONE!) When I need to be ready to get the girls ready, jump on a conference call, bust out a blog post, plan the week’s meals and have the mental energy left to have a conversation with my husband that goes beyond Daredevil plot points, I need an outfit that works for me.

So when I partnered with Athleta to write a blog post about their new fall collections, I couldn’t stop thinking about how Athleta’s lines are just that: clothes for moms who do all the things.

The best clothes for moms are comfortable—and beautiful—because working moms and SAHMs need to feel gorgeous. Ten Thousand Hour MamaThe best clothes for moms are comfortable, practical, beautiful - and washable! Ten Thousand Hour MamaClothes for moms should be simultaneously gorgeous and practical, professional and comfortable. This Athleta dress is my new favorite outfit to do all the things. Ten Thousand Hour Mama

I received an Athleta gift certificate in exchange for writing this post. As always, all opinions and content on this blog are entirely my own.  Read more

Holiday gift guide: Best WAHM gifts

Chances are, you know a work at home mom: Almost a third of moms in the US do not work outside the home, and if the number of mom friends selling leggings, face wash and children’s books is any indication, a good chunk of these work at home (including me!). And I can guarantee these mamas could use a thoughtful present this holiday—that’s why I pulled together a list of the best WAHM gifts to spoil the working moms on your Christmas list.

Shopping for a work at home mom? This gift guide with the 10 best WAHM gifts has working mother-tested ideas and products. Ten Thousand Hour Mama Read more

Finding peace the day before the election

Here we are, the day before the election in perhaps the most contentious campaign season in our history. I already voted. I have outlined the reasons I am supporting Hillary Clinton for president in surprisingly civil conversations with Donald Trump supporters, and I have listened to their reasons for voting for Trump. And now I’m looking ahead to tomorrow—and beyond—wondering what direction our country’s voters will take us.

It's hard to find peace anytime, but especially the day before the election. It's time to let go of fear and find compassion. Ten Thousand Hour Mama

Also today, I’m traveling for work. I’ll be taking three planes to get me to rural Minnesota, where I’m visiting a Native American reservation and a renewable energy nonprofit. I’ll be sitting next to strangers—our elbows awkwardly bumping each other in the too-small seats, our eyes meeting in commiseration as the airline announces a delay. For a few hours, I’ll share space with strangers who believe we’re stronger together or want to make America great again, with those who are still feeing the Bern or are sitting this election out completely.

Sometimes it feels like we’re all so different.

But beyond trolls’ hateful comments and tweets, beyond the violence that erupts at rallies, beyond people unfriending each other over political posts, we are much the same. Read more

I voted for my daughters

Today I voted. I voted for president. I voted for down-ballot candidates. I voted for proposals on corporate taxes and veterans’ funding and road repairs. But ultimately, I voted for my daughters.

My daughters, ages 3 and 1, are too young to be aware of the 2016 election, and I’m glad for that. I don’t want the anger, violence and bigotry surrounding this race to harm my kids. I’m not alone: Officials are planning to close some schools that are polling places for fear of the fallout come November 8.

Although Peeper and Kiwi don’t watch the debates or see attack ads, they will still be directly impacted by whatever happens after November 8. That’s one big reason why I voted, I voted early (like President Obama urges us to do) and I voted to make a difference.

In the 2016 election, I voted for my daughters—and for the future. Ten Thousand Hour Mama Read more

7 must-dos for a kid-free business trip

7 must-dos for a kid-free business trip
Original photo by Jeremy Sternberg, creative commons

You’re on a kid-free business trip, so you’re probably feeling equal parts guilty and giddy. Chances are, you haven’t been away from home and kids in so long that the prospect of dealing with traffic and the TSA, crossing time zones, working long hours and eating what passes for a continental breakfast sounds positively like a vacation.

It’s also likely that you might not know what to do with yourself. I’ve been there, though, so I’ve done you the solid of making a little list of all the things you must do on your next kid-free business trip.

While you’re gone, drop me a line and tell me all about your kid-free extravagances like eating in a restaurant with no play place and sleeping on an un-jumped-on bed. Read more

Feeling my Pulse

Love Conquers Hate Pulse shooting
image from Human Rights Campaign

I’ve hesitated to write this post. It feels as if all the heartbreak, anger and confusion about the recent mass shooting of the Pulse night club in Orlando has already been better expressed than I could attempt. But I can’t get the Pulse shooting out of my mind. Read more