The essential breastfeeding gift guide for moms you love

The essential breastfeeding gift guide for moms you love

I recently asked a friend of mine who is a new mom how she was feeling. Her answer: “I’m good—but so tired.” Well of course! She—and you, breastfeeding moms—are busy sustaining a human being by creating food with your body (aka breastfeeding). And you definitely deserve pampering, which is why I’ve pulled together this breastfeeding gift guide!

Maybe you’re looking to buy yourself something nice. Maybe you want to gift something to a friend/sister/coworker who is a new mom and is breastfeeding. Maybe you want to conveniently leave this tab open so someone will take the hint and buy you what you need. Either way, this breastfeeding gift guide is sure to give you ideas for Christmas shopping, a birthday wish list or just because!

A breastfeeding gift guide: Gift ideas for moms // Ten Thousand Hour Mama

I breastfed my two kids for something like 38 months all together (but who’s counting—ha!). That’s a lot of experience, and a lot of trial and error. So instead of poring over hundreds of reviews or blindly searching through online listings, look on through this breastfeeding gift guide for wish list ideas.

And keep up the good work, mama! Read more

Tongue tie and breastfeeding: the undiagnosed reason BFing hurts

Tongue tie and breastfeeding: the undiagnosed reason BFing hurts

Moms, I’m pretty sure you’ll agree that your whole world changes when you deliver your baby and hold her in your arms for the first time. Your heart cracks open and comes together again in an entirely new way to make space for all the love you feel for the newest member of your family. In addition to the tsunami of feelings, though, can come the feeling of drowning in a wholly different way. When you first have your baby, you might wonder why breastfeeding is so hard, so painful, so frustrating. I learned this the hard way, and it took much too long for me to discover the reason why: tongue tie and breastfeeding is a combination that can turn out in truly horrible ways. Here’s the good news, though: You can fix your tongue tie and breastfeeding problems.

Tongue tie and breastfeeding: A fixable problem

Breastfeeding is hard for many women and babies, but it doesn’t have to stay that way. The first weeks of my older daughter Peeper’s life were filled with tears (from both Baby and Mom), slow or no weight gain, bleeding nipples and emotional turmoil. I searched for answers anywhere and everywhere, but the reason breastfeeding was so hard was closer: in my baby’s mouth.

Once I discovered the link between tongue tie and breastfeeding pain, my baby and I set off on the path to a happy, healthy breastfeeding relationship. I ended up breastfeeding Peeper for 14 months and Kiwi for 24 months—all because we corrected their tongue tie. Getting her tongue tie diagnosed also helped bring back my milk supply from almost nothing to being able to pump 5 ounces at a time.

Tongue tie and breastfeeding pain are often connected, but there's hope: My babies and I are proof. Ten Thousand Hour Mama

If you’re having trouble breastfeeding, I hope this post helps. If your baby has tongue tie, know that you’re not alone—and that fixing it may save your goals of breastfeeding.

The undiagnosed breastfeeding issue

When I gave birth to my first child, I knew I wanted to breastfeed. Yes, breastfeeding is good for both Baby and  Mama, but my breastfeeding goals were more instinctual and emotional. Something just felt right when Peeper scooched up, found my breast, and started nursing.

But breastfeeding also felt awful. It hurt. I thought pain while breastfeeding was normal; I figured the pain would go away. It didn’t, and after just 24 hours nursing my baby, my nipples were raw and sore.

Lactation consultants checked in on me, adjusted Peeper’s latch and referred me to breastfeeding advisers. I visited lactation experts three times a week, trying to fix my baby’s latch and get me some relief.

Tongue tie and breastfeeding problems often go hand-in-hand—and often go undiagnosed. Here's everything you need to know about tongue tie in babies. Ten Thousand Hour Mama

I had been nursing Peeper on bleeding nipples for a month before a lactation consultant asked me, “Has your baby been evaluated for tongue tie?”

My baby and I had seen at least a half-dozen lactation consultants and three pediatricians, and no one—not a single person—had suggested tongue tie affects breastfeeding. I had never even heard of tongue tie, so I didn’t know to ask about it.  But after I brought my baby to a pediatric ear, nose and throat doctor (ENT), he immediately diagnosed tongue tie.

A simple solution to save your breastfeeding relationship

Peeper’s tongue tie diagnosis didn’t come until she was 2 months old—quite late, considering she and I had struggled to breastfeed that entire time. Also during her first months, she ended up going hungry because my breast milk supply dropped from the lack of proper stimulation (from an incorrect latch due to the tongue tie) and pain.

Yet a few seconds and a pair of scissors corrected the tongue tie.

I was horrified that a doctor wanted to cut any part of my baby, but if one simple procedure would save our breastfeeding relationship, I was willing to try.

We didn’t see improvements in breastfeeding immediately. After all, Peeper had spent two months with restricted tongue movement from the tongue tie, so she had to unlearn months of muscle memory. What’s more, I had endured substantial nipple damage which took weeks to heal.

But eventually, Peeper and I relearned how to breastfeed. My breast milk supply returned, and Peeper started to nurse with a proper latch. She gained weight, and we resumed the beautiful breastfeeding relationship I’d dreamed of.

Does my baby have tongue tie?

While Peeper and I didn’t get help with her tongue tie until she was two months old, I knew what signs to look for with Kiwi, my second child.

Tongue tie and breastfeeding pain are often connected, but there's hope: My babies and I are proof. Ten Thousand Hour Mama

Kiwi showed many of the same signs of tongue tie that her big sister did.

The signs and symptoms of tongue tie in infants

  • A shortened frenulum, or vertical strip of tissue that connects the bottom of the tongue to the mouth. These tend to be thicker and they extend farther toward the tip of the tongue in many tongue-tied babies, limiting their ability to open wide and move their tongue. A shortened frenulum can be thought of as a short leash—it won’t let the tongue go as far as a typical tongue can move.
  • Pain while breastfeeding. Discomfort and even some pain is normal in the first days of breastfeeding as your body gets used to its new job, but extended and severe pain is not normal. Research shows that tongue tie accounts for many painful breastfeeding problems, so it’s important to consider tongue tie as one possible cause of breastfeeding pain.
  • Nipple damage. Tongue tie prevents a baby from opening his mouth wide enough to secure a good latch while breastfeeding. Tongue tied infants, then, have a shallower latch, and their sucking action may rub on your nipple, causing tissue damage.
    For me, I saw the worst nipple damage on the underside of my nipple, where my babies’ tongue would rub against while nursing.
  • Dribbling milk. A poor latch from tongue tie may cause a gap in between your breast and your baby’s mouth. I learned that milk dribbling out of your baby’s mouth is another sign of tongue tie.
  • Poor weight gain and low milk supply. The poor latch from tongue tie can make it hard for your baby to get enough breast milk. The pain from an improper latch, and the disrupted supply-and-demand feedback loop successful breastfeeding requires, can mean you don’t establish a good breast milk supply or that your supply drops.

What is tongue tie? What you need to know

Very few people—including pediatricians, even—have the most up-to-date information about tongue tie.

  1. Tongue tie can be anterior (marked by a frenulum that extends farther-than-average on the underside of the tongue) or posterior (a less obvious manifestation of the condition that still restricts tongue and mouth movement). Posterior tongue tie is less often diagnosed and less often corrected, despite research that shows correcting posterior tongue tie also improves breastfeeding.
  2. Tongue tie corrections involve a scissors or laser cutting the tissue on the underside of the tongue that restricts movement and flexibility. This is an outpatient procedure (meaning you won’t have to stay overnight). Doctors first numb the area and then cut the tissue, and babies heal quickly. It’s not fun for anyone, but it is safe. In a study of 3,000 infant tongue tie cases, not a single tongue tie revision went awry or caused side effects.
  3. Many tongue tie experts recommend “exercises” for parents to do post-procedure so the separated tissue does not heal back together. From my experience, these are emotionally hard—babies do not like many of the exercises—but crucial to preventing re-attachment (and a second round of the procedure).
  4. Experts don’t entirely know what causes tongue tie, but research suggests the condition is at least partly hereditary.

Fixing tongue tie ASAP

Although Peeper’s tongue tie was corrected late, Kiwi’s was corrected when she was eight days old. In many parts of the world, though, that would be considered late.

The bottom line for tongue tie correction: The sooner you correct an infant’s tongue tie, the better. An Australian study in the journal Breastfeeding Review showed that the later a baby’s tongue tie was released, the more likely a mother was to wean the baby early. In fact, the research showed, the sooner tongue tie is diagnosed and revised, the more mothers were satisfied with their breastfeeding relationship.

If you suspect tongue tie and breastfeeding pain are linked in your BFing problems, find an expert near you. Your family pediatrician, and even the average lactation consultant, might not be educated in the different presentations of tongue tie and how tongue tie affects breastfeeding. (For example, our pediatrician—whom I love and trust—saw no issue with either of my kids’ tongue anatomy, whereas experts flagged both children.)

Will correcting tongue tie help your baby and breastfeeding?

Only a medical specialist can tell you for sure if correcting a tongue tie will help your baby and fix breastfeeding problems; I’m definitely not an expert. But I have seen a monumental difference in my babies and in my breastfeeding issues after correcting tongue tie.

Tongue tie and breastfeeding pain are often connected, but there's hope: My babies and I are proof. Ten Thousand Hour Mama

Don’t take my word from it, though. A 2016 study of more than 200 babies found that infants who underwent tongue tie corrections saw breastfeeding improvements a week after the procedure—and that improvements continued for at least the first month. This trend held true for babies with posterior tongue tie (which is less often diagnosed, and which is what Kiwi had). What’s more, babies whose tongue ties were released were able to drink 155% more milk compared to before the procedure. (Side note: This article was authored by Dr. Bobak Ghaheri, one of the world’s leading experts on tongue tie and breastfeeding medicine, who also corrected Kiwi’s tongue tie. He has phenomenal tongue tie and breastfeeding resources on his web site.)

In addition, a different randomized, controlled study found that correcting a baby’s tongue tie was more effective in improving breastfeeding than intensive work with a qualified lactation consultant. In this study, 95% of the babies whose tongue ties were corrected were better able to breastfeed.

There are people out there who dismiss tongue tie as a fad, who will try to convince you tongue tie revision is an unnecessary and cruel procedure, and who will swear that your baby doesn’t have tongue tie despite showing all the signs and symptoms of tongue tie. But trust your gut and seek expert opinions if you think tongue tie and breastfeeding pain are linked for you. I’m so glad I did. After all, getting my babies’ tongue tie corrected enabled me to meet my goal of continuing to breastfeed. Fixing their tongue tie saved our breastfeeding relationship.

Again, I want to re-emphasize that I am not a medical professional. This post is based on peer-reviewed journal articles and studies, personal experience and medical advice I have received. This post is not meant to diagnose or treat anyone or any medical issue; rather, this post is meant to help struggling families get the information they need and advocate for themselves. 


If you’re looking to troubleshoot more breastfeeding problems, click these links because they have helped tens of thousands of other blog visitors. Here are my most popular breastfeeding posts:

How to increase your milk supply

How to fix a clogged duct

How to deal with unsupportive colleagues while you pump at work

How to pump at the airport: Breastfeeding and travel

Breastfeeding can be many things—beautiful, painful, sweet, frustrating—and if you are breastfeeding while you travel, it can also be inconvenient. Add in having to pump at the airport and you have a whole new set of challenges to overcome.

There are many reasons you might need to pump at the airport: Maybe you’re going to travel without kids, or you exclusively pump, or you pump in addition to breastfeeding. Point is, pumping at the airport is sometimes necessary—but it doesn’t have to be terribly hard.

Although I weaned my youngest this summer, I still have a lot of thoughts about breastfeeding and pumping milk. I also have a lot of experience, since I breastfed my two kids for a total of more than three years and had to pump in all sorts of situations, some of which were really awkward.

Pumping wasn’t my favorite task even in the best of situations (thank you, Husband, for bringing me ice cream while I pumped at home!). But figuring out the logistics of how to pump at the airport, carrying milk in my carry-on and managing to not miss my connections: That sounded like a plot line from one of those terribly uncomfortable Judd Apatow movies I can’t watch because they make me break out into hives.

But maybe, just maybe, pumping in the airport doesn’t have to be such a nightmare. In the hopes of keeping your worries from reaching 30,000 feet, here’s my hard-won wisdom on how to pump at the airport.

How to pump at the airport: breastfeeding and travel. Ten Thousand Hour Mama Read more

What I wish I had known about motherhood: Real mom wisdom

What I wish I had known about motherhood: Real mom wisdom

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the nearly five years I’ve been a mother, it’s this: Fellow mothers are the best source of no-BS, tell-it-to-you-straight mom wisdom you’ll ever hope to encounter. The trouble is we don’t always ask the right questions (or even know what they are), and you probably don’t have other sources telling you the straight-up truth about TMIs like post-birth constipation and just how world-rocking having a baby is. Nearly everyone has at least one “what I wish I had known” detail—so I’m sharing those tidbits of been there, done that know-how from a whole tribe of mom bloggers.

Below, you’ll read about everything: the good (the overwhelming love of your bubs!), the bad (mastitis—need I say more?) and the ugly (postpartum depression and anxiety are real—and all too common). So before you have a “what I wish I had known” about motherhood moment, read on. I can pretty much guarantee you’ll learn something from this mom wisdom—I know I did!

What I wish I had known about motherhood, from breastfeeding to postpartum depression: Mom wisdom from 20 mommy bloggers. Ten Thousand Hour Mama Read more

9 things I wish I knew about weaning

Just a few weeks ago, I weaned Kiwi. Although I had a goal to wean her by her second birthday, I thought it’d never happen: She asked for milk all day, every day. Yet bit by bit, we decreased the amount she breastfed. Finally, there came a day when she didn’t nurse at all. And then there was another no-milk day. And just like that, weaning was complete.

Pretty much. (More on that below!)

It’s no secret around here that I’ve both struggled with breastfeeding and loved it. I nursed Peeper until she was 15 months old, and Kiwi until she was almost 2. But even though we’d semi-accidentally become an extended breastfeeding family, I was ready to wean.

Yes, I was ready to wean, but I wish someone had clued me in to some details about weaning I’d never heard—or read—about.

9 things I wish I'd known about weaning, 'cause stopping breastfeeding is a big deal. Ten Thousand Hour Mama Read more

A little-known trick to pump more milk

A dear friend of mine (whom I’ll not name so I don’t embarrass her) recently texted me. She was at work on a short break and was pumping milk for her baby at home. Not only that—she was catching up on emails, sending me pics of her munchkin and blow drying her hair (which she’d left in a wet bun until now). I couldn’t believe all her multitasking while pumping at work. Wow, she is a supermom! I thought.

As her need to do so much during such a short time shows, pumping at work is not easy. Plus, many moms feel a lot of pressure to make enough milk for their babies while they are at work. So it’s no surprise that nearly every pumping mom I know has, at some point, wanted to pump more milk.

The $2 trick to pump more milk and increase your supply for breastfeeding! Ten Thousand Hour Mama Read more

What breastfeeding should feel like

When Peeper was born, I visited lactation specialists several times a week to try to get breastfeeding to work for us. She was my first baby, so I didn’t really know what breastfeeding should feel like—but I was pretty sure it shouldn’t feel stabby/excrutiating/make-me-cry painful.

When I asked one of the lactation nurses what breastfeeding should feel like, she gently pulled on my thumb. “Like that,” she said. I was bewildered; when Peeper latched, breastfeeding was definitely not that gentle.

Fast forward past many lactation appointments, a belated tongue tie correction, the use of a nipple shield and a lot of persistence, and breastfeeding finally did feel good—I finally got to the point where breastfeeding didn’t hurt.

But that’s not the only part of how breastfeeding actually feels. In short, it can hit a whole bunch of emotions, too. So if you’re wondering what you’re in for when you breastfeed your baby, read on.

What breastfeeding should feel like: Nursing moms may feel these emotional and physical parts of feeding her baby. Ten Thousand Hour Mama Read more

Sometimes motherhood is awesome

If you’ve read this blog often enough, you’ve seen my posts about how hard motherhood can be—like the time one kid trailed poop after her all over the house, or the long length of time breastfeeding was insanely hard, or the roughly 12 months I didn’t sleep more than 3 hours in a row. But sometimes motherhood is awesome.

Take, for instance, the other day. Peeper and I made cookies for absolutely no reason other than the fact that sugar and chocolate chips are delicious. When they were done, the heavenly smell of perfectly browned cookies filled the house.

Shockingly, Kiwi was still asleep—couldn’t she smell the chocolate chip cookies?—so Peeper and I got some more one-on-one time.

I decided to teach her a vital life lesson.

Teaching my kids how to bake and sharing the ritual of cookies and milk—2 ways motherhood is AWESOME! Ten Thousand Hour Mama

Dunking cookies and bonding

Some life lessons are hard to teach—like that friends aren’t always nice to you, or that there are people in the world who value girls less than boys. This was not one of them.

I poured two cups of milk. I placed two chocolate chip cookies on plates. I sat Peeper down at the table.

And I taught her how to dunk a cookie in milk.

Peeper had never dunked a cookie, but the practice combines two of her favorite things—dessert and milk.

She and I ate our milk-softened cookies, still warm from the oven, and giggled. It felt as if we were sharing a beautiful secret. The feeling of doing something special just for us filled the room like the scent of baking chocolate.

Cookies and milk and motherhood

Kiwi woke up a few minutes later. I still try to limit her sugar as much as I can, so before I got her from the crib I cleaned up the evidence of cookies and milk.

When Kiwi and I rejoined Peeper in the living room, Peeper looked up at me and smiled. She had a smear of chocolate on one cheek. As I smiled back at her I thought, Motherhood is awesome.

How public assistance saved my family

With House and Senate Republicans are trying to push through a repeal and replace bill to cut the Affordable Care Act, and with so much shaming going on around people who need any help from the government, I feel compelled to share my own story. You see, before Obamacare went into effect, I was denied insurance at a new job because I had a preexisting condition—I was pregnant. Public assistance saved my family.

Government assistance was the reason why we are not still saddled with thousands of dollars of medical bills. It helped me feed myself and my infant. A series of safety nets caught me and my family. Even with the help of the government, we relied on family members and strangers to stay fed, healthy and warm.

By sharing my story, I knowingly open up my own personal experience to judgment. But I do so because it’s easy to shame a stranger, but a lot harder to assume the worst about someone you know.

How public assistance and health insurance helped us before Obamacare went into effect. Ten Thousand Hour Mama Read more

Kiwi is 18 months: 10 memories of my big little toddler

Kiwi is 18 months old—a whopping year and a half. She runs, she throws a ball, she does her darnedest to jump, she understands so much. I can hardly believe how big my littlest has become: a big little toddler.

My big little toddler - Ten Thousand Hour MamaAt 18 months, my toddler loves to go on hikes. Ten Thousand Hour MamaEat dirt? Sure! But good luck trying to get this toddler to eat real food. Ten Thousand Hour MamaThis 18 month old toddler says, "Let's go outside, Mom!" Ten Thousand Hour Mama

I recently read a few past milestone pasts about Peeper. The posts reminded me of some things I’d forgotten (that she used to call oatmeal “wee-mo,” for example). I also realized that I’ve slacked lately on keeping Kiwi’s milestone posts up to date.

This month, as Kiwi turns 18 months, I captured ten things about my big little toddler that make her uniquely her.

At 18 months, I'm capturing memories of my big little toddler. Ten Thousand Hour Mama Read more