There’s practically a cottage industry for literature to tell you what to expect when you’re expecting (along with what to do and what to not do under any circumstances or you’ll ruin your baby forever). Some details, though, seem to get left out. Not to worry, though, Imma share these 5 pregnancy truths with you.
Well, ladies with a bun in your oven, let me enlighten you. Some of these secrets aren’t pretty, but such is life. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
“Baby in there!”
From about the time I began to show, Peeper started to talk about how a baby was growing in Mama’s belly. She would point to my bump and sometimes wave to the baby.
One night, when Peeper had eaten a particularly large portion of tuna mac, Eric remarked on how big her belly had gotten.
She looked down at the round drum of her middle. “Maybe baby in there,” she said.
We, of course, were floored.
After that, she got a little confused. “Baby in there!” she’d say of just about everything—Eric’s belly, Finn’s belly and, particularly, my breasts. (That last one was slightly awkward in public.)
Now she makes it a game, naming everywhere the baby isn’t. “Not a baby in there,” she’ll say about everything. “Not a baby teeth. Not a baby mama mole. Not a baby dishes. Not a baby rocking chair.”
So she may not know exactly what’s going on—the details of a growing fetus are a little beyond a 20-month-old’s comprehension—but she well knows where the baby is not growing.
That’s a start.