6 ways to embrace self-care and feel more like yourself

6 ways to embrace self-care and feel more like yourself

At the beginning of February, I wrote about how I was feeling exhausted—physically, mentally and emotionally. So I made it my monthly resolution to restore and replenish. It’s been just a month since then, which isn’t a ton of time for big changes, but I can say this: I feel so much better. I feel more like myself. And I’m embracing self-care.

Meaningful change is gradual. Like crash diets or cramming for a test, intense bouts of self-reinvention rarely lead to lasting, sustained changes. What’s more, the all-out mentality isn’t exactly refreshing, is it?

So I approached my goal to restore and replenish less as a project and more of a practice in intentionality, self-reflection, self-care and even paring back.

The result: I feel more energized (even though I’m still tired—I blame nearly three years of raising a terrible sleeper). I feel happier. I feel more in touch with those I love. I feel more like myself.

These are the 6 things that helped me get here. I know that self-care isn’t a one-time deal; self-care is an ongoing practice to treat yourself as well as you treat others. So I’ll check in on this post going forward to remind myself of the things that helped me feel more like myself. I hope they help you, too.

6 self-care ideas for moms. Ten Thousand Hour Mama Read more

Finding your people, finding your place: Coworking and community

Finding your people, finding your place: Coworking and community

I have been a paying business member of The Perlene, the all-women social club and feminist coworking space in Portland, Oregon, since last summer. This post was not paid, sponsored or solicited. I wrote it entirely on my own because I think it’s crucial to support women and mothers to find your people wherever they may be.

This feminist coworking space in Portland, OR is where working moms and I find our people. Ten Thousand Hour Mama

Last summer, I found myself in a great place in my career as a freelance writer: I was working consistently. I was writing inspiring stories about nonprofits doing great things and kids changing the world through technology. I was publishing stories in magazines and web sites like Cosmo, Real SimpleScary Mommy and Travel Portland. The problem: I was lonely.

I worked by myself at my home office, and it wasn’t uncommon that I’d get to bedtime and realize I didn’t step outside that day. I talked to folks over the phone but rarely had face-to-face conversations with people outside my family. And I found my productivity dwindling.

I remembered the good feeling I had getting a ton done while working with a colleague at WeWork in Portland. But the community—or lack thereof—was a turnoff. I didn’t feel like I’d find my people among all the tech bros working on four giant monitors.

A little googling led me to a new space that sounded more my speed: The Perlene, Portland’s feminist social club and coworking space. I had the feeling I would find my people here. Read more

From afraid to empowered: The power of breast self-exams

A few weeks ago, I found myself in a thin hospital gown, staring at the speckled ceiling tiles as I waited for my ultrasound technician. The last time I’d done something like this was finding out the sex of my baby, who turned into Kiwi. This time, I was making sure a lump in my right breast, which I found during one of my sort-of regular breast self-exams, wasn’t going to kill me.

I hadn’t been that worried. In fact, I mentioned the lump to a breast health specialist in an offhand way when we were talking about my genetic risk factors for the Big C, since my mom had a very aggressive form of breast cancer at 39. The specialist referred me to an ultrasound tech, “just to be on the safe side.“

So I wasn’t sweating my appointment—until I was half naked, waiting, with nothing to distract me from my spiraling thoughts but the pocked patterns in the ceiling.

Spoiler alert: I’m totally fine. Turns out my boob is “cyst-y,” as the radiologist came in to tell me. (Pretty sure that’s a medical term she learned in very expensive medical school.) So in addition to having post-breastfeeding sad sag, my breast is also lumpy.

Killing it.

But! The cysts are totally benign. And lumpy is much better than deadly.

Doing breast self-exams is one thing every woman can do to protect her health and catch cancer early. Here's how I overcame fear and regained power over my health. Ten Thousand Hour Mama Read more

6 ways to avoid body shame in kids: Body positivity for families

“Look at how big my belly is!” Peeper exclaimed. Never has anyone in the history of the planet uttered these words with such joy. As I cheered for her (“Yay, your belly is so big!”), it struck me that her innocent celebration of her body managed to avoid body shame.

I want to protect her body positivity as long as I can. I want to raise both my girls to be confident. I want to continue to avoid body shame in my kids.

How to teach kids to love their bodies, grow a positive self image and avoid body shame. Read more

Sexual assault isn’t funny—and it shouldn’t sell t-shirts

Over the weekend on Facebook, I saw a photo that made me furious. It showed the storefront of a local Spencer’s store, which included a display of Trump t-shirts. One in particular—pretty sure you can guess which one—was so offensive that went on the offensive.

I tweeted, talked and shared with anyone who would listen or read the following message:

Sexual assault isn’t funny, and using it to sell a t-shirt is disgusting.

Sexual assault isn't funny. Calling out sexism and rape culture is our duty as citizens. Ten Thousand Hour Mama Read more

How to raise strong women: Guest post

“I challenge assumptions about women. I do make some people uncomfortable, which I’m well aware of, but that’s just part of coming to grips with what I believe is still one of the most important pieces of unfinished business in human history—empowering women to be able to stand up for themselves.”

-Hillary Clinton

How to raise strong women and independent girls with confidence. Ten Thousand Hour Mama

A few months ago, a woman lost the presidential election. We all know who this woman is and we’re all well aware of what a grand disappointment and sorrow her losing has brought upon millions of Americans, both locals and expats. This is yet another reason why we need to raise strong women.

We’ve all trusted a change was about to happen; we thought for a second our daughters will have someone other than us, their mothers, to learn from. We hoped a woman was going to be heard.

Winning the election would have been more than just a democracy refreshed; it would’ve been a beacon of hope for all the young women out there, all the brilliant, ambitious, yet to be accomplished young girls who are at the beginning (or at the peak) of their professional lives. This was supposed to be a change, a milestone so grand that everything would’ve gotten a different flavor.

In her emotional post-election speech, Hillary spoke about many things, addressing one aspect in particular: “…and to all of the little girls who are watching this, never doubt that you are valuable and powerful and deserving of every chance and opportunity in the world to pursue and achieve your own dreams.” Thank you.

With a bitter taste in our mouths but refusing to surrender, we will raise strong women. With us as their teachers, our daughters will learn (and understand) the following: Read more

Love your postpartum body: My beautiful linea nigra

How I loved my linea nigra and postpartum body. New moms, find a positive body image! Ten Thousand Hour Mama

New mothers find plenty of things to dislike about their bodies after delivery: lopsided boobs, stretch marks, a perma-pooch. Tabloids in the check out aisle highlight celebrities who managed to LOSE THE BABY WEIGHT IN 5 WEEKS! (and shame the women who take longer—not that it’s anyone’s business). Despite these changes, I managed to love my postpartum body and find a positive body image—by appreciating my linea nigra. Read more

Ignore your phone, give water

A handful of women stepped into an ankle-deep pond. They bent at the waist to dip metal tubs into the water. They made shallow passes with the containers, trying to avoid the worst of the sediment.

They were collecting water to drink, cook and bathe with from the only free source within walking distance. The pond, though, was close to drying up during the lull before the rainy season, and sometimes the women got sick from drinking the untreated water.

Women near Gushegu, Ghana collect water from a pond thirty minutes away from their camp. Credit: Catherine Ryan Gregory
Women near Gushegu, Ghana collect water from a pond thirty minutes away from their camp. Credit: Catherine Ryan Gregory

I walked back to their camp with these women in Ghana as they balanced the metal containers—heavy enough that I’d have trouble lifting them, let alone setting them on my head. They didn’t complain; they at least had something to drink.

Women in Northern Ghana carry the responsibility of fetching water for household chores. Credit: Catherine Ryan Gregory
Women in Northern Ghana carry the responsibility of fetching water for household chores. Credit: Catherine Ryan Gregory

A pump with much cleaner water was several hundred yards away, but a man stood guard to collect money from anyone who used it. These women had no money, so they made do with the silty pond.

Many of us in the Global North take water for granted. We don’t think of our good fortune when we take a sip, wash the dishes or flush the toilet. Yet 768 million people worldwide don’t have access to safe and clean water, according to UNICEF.

UNICEF is now running a program to help bring clean water to more people in need through its Tap Project. And we can help—by giving up something that is a luxury, we can provide a life-giving necessity.

Read more