Over the weekend a group of moms held a “nurse-in” at a restaurant outside Portland. An employee there had recently asked a nursing mom to cover up, despite it being completely within her rights (not to mention the baby’s) to breastfeed basically anywhere in public.
In response, dozens of moms showed up to, you know, provide their children vital sustenance (gasp).
I love how these mothers, many of whom didn’t even know the original woman who was asked to put her boob away, used the frustrating moment as a way to raise awareness and rally support. It is National Breastfeeding Awareness Month, after all!
I was in Eugene over the weekend, but I did end up breastfeeding at a different restaurant—not as part of the protest but because Peeper was hungry.
I don’t use a cover-up (or, as one company that thought it was a good marketing strategy to compare lactating women with cows calls them, Udder Covers). Even if I wanted to, Peeper would never stand it. And really, breastfeeding shows a lot less boob than, say, wearing a bikini.
I’ve become so accustomed to nursing Peeper whenever she needs it (which isn’t actually that often anymore) that I don’t even think, “Man, I hope no one gives me a weird look.” And thankfully, most—almost all—people in restaurants, cafes, parks and other public places are cool with it. They eat their meal; Peeper eats hers. No biggie.
I’m grateful that I live in a place where this, not the moment that inspired the nurse-in, is the norm.
But I realize that crunchy, breastfeeding-friendly Portland isn’t the rule. Many women out there are shunned to the bathroom stall, where they perch on a public toilet and try to get a squirmy newborn to latch.
The more people see breastfeeding mamas, the less they’ll be shocked and outraged and skeeved out by what is a completely normal and usually necessary process of feeding a baby.
So high fives all around to the moms out there who put their kids’ needs over the prudish comfort of a stranger. High fives to the local mamas who supported a fellow mother who was singled out in public. And high fives to everyone who doesn’t look askance at a woman who is feeding her child at the next table over.
Good for them!
So often when I see mothers nursing their babies in public I want to high five them, but then I realize that’s an invasion of their privacy, so I don’t. But really, isn’t that what boobs are for?! (not high-fiving of course)
Haha, YES! I feel the same way! And sometimes I want to high five my own boobs. They do a good job. 😉
I’ve obviously started thinking about this a lot more lately! 🙂 The whole push to make women “cover up” when they’re nursing seems so absurd and unfair. First – like you said – a lot of babies won’t tolerate being covered by a blanket or “Udder Cover” while they’re eating. Second, the very notion that this is something we should “cover up” is so upsetting and sends the wrong message to women who are just trying to feed their kids. We’d never tell a woman in a swimsuit at the pool to “cover up” (well, some people might), much less a shirtless man who was swimming or exercising! It’s so sad and unfair that in 2014 so much shame still surrounds women and their bodies, and we’re living with constant mixed messages that “breast is best,” but just be sure that no one has to see it when you’re doing it! Sigh.
Absolutely, Maeve. Asking women to cover up or go somewhere else to nurse implies that there’s something shameful or obscene about breastfeeding. People’s discomfort with breastfeeding also tells me that women’s bodies have become so sexualized that folks can’t wrap their minds around a woman’s body doing something besides being sexual.
I can’t believe that some company decided the cow metaphor was a good one…
Seriously. My husband once made the mistake of telling a cow/breastfeeding joke—it did not go over well. Suffice to say he hasn’t told another.
I agree with Pech. That was shocking!!
this is really interesting! i am so far from that time in my life that i am trying to absorb and store away info for later. i am sure i’ll struggle with it eventually and hope everyone is more progressive when it comes time for me!
ladies in navy
Kelsey, I bet we will be more progressive later on—we seem to be advancing in terms of attitudes about breastfeeding, so it’s (hopefully) a matter of time before it’s wholly accepted!
This is so crazy to me. When I had my first, we were in LA and I was very shy and covered up all the time. Living in Portland IS very liberating and now I’m lucky if I throw a spit rag over my boob. The only time I bother to cover up is when I am around men that I know personally, that might feel uncomfortable (i.e. dad, brother, neighbors) by it. I can’t believe businesses would have the nerve to ask though. I also saw this week, that there was a “nurse-in” at the Anthropologie in Beverly Hills because they had asked a woman who was USING A COVER to nurse in their employee bathroom on the TOILET! Yeah… no chair in there. Are you kidding me?
“now I’m lucky if I throw a spit rag over my boob” – hahaha! Love it!
Off topic slightly, but I formula fed out of necessity, and so I am biased, but I feel that the focus on breastfeeding really detracts from the larger issue, which is that women should be allowed to feed their children however they see fit. I get a LOT of flack in SF for bottle feeding my baby, and NO ONE who judges me knows the struggles I had to endure to get to this point. I support breastfeeding 100%, but let’s also not go the other direction and shame moms who bottle feed.
Barbara, I couldn’t agree more. Women choose to breastfeed or formula feed (or a combination!) for many, many different reasons, and no one has the right to judge one way or the other. It makes me so mad that people give you (or anyone else) grief for formula feeding—it’s none of their dern business!