Taking Peeper to the Tulip Fest outside Woodburn earlier this week was wonderful (more on that later!), but it carried a very unwelcome realization: I’m getting too pregnant to continue doing everything I want to.
When lifting my 20-some-pound toddler off a swing at the festival, I pulled some of the round ligaments in my belly, the muscles that stretch to accommodate my soccer ball-sized uterus. On top of that discomfort, I felt crummy and overextended the rest of the day—a condition not helped by Peeper’s skipped nap. (Ugh, why won’t this child sleep in the car like a normal kid?)
I was utterly spent. The exhaustion I felt by the end of the day plus recalling that I’m mere weeks away from my third trimester overwhelmed me. What’s more, a good friend was recently put on bed rest when her baby tried to make a very early appearance, which pushed me to consider the possibility we could have an early bird, too.
So though I’m still rocking the ease of the second trimester, I need to scale back a bit. That is not easy. Take, for example, the afternoon after the Tulip Fest.
While Peeper filled her wooden push cart with dolls and stuffed animals, I lay down on my side on the carpet, trying to snatch a quick rest while she was occupied. Almost instantly, she ran over to me, threw her body on top of mine and rolled off, giggling. The WWE move became her new favorite game. And later, when I just. couldn’t. anymore, I popped in Disney’s Cinderella, hoping for a moment or two of respite. In reality, the movie bought me precisely eight minutes of quiet—which I spent making her dinner.
Beyond wrangling a toddler with boundless energy, it’ll be a challenge limiting my own commitments. As a freelance writer, my income is erratic and largely dependent on hustle. So it’s not only difficult to turn down an assignment; it’s scary. After all, I’ll need to take time off once Kiwi is born, so we’ll need a financial cushion to last us through those newborn months when income is scarcer. Trying to stockpile savings when I’m already, ahem, spent is not the most far-sighted strategy, but still.
These limitations also come when my nesting instincts and baby to-do lists are pushing me to do it all! Put up shelves! Print and frame photos! Go through Peeper’s baby clothes! Research baby monitors! Sew that baby quilt!
I know I’ll have to set aside many of these aspirations. If this pregnancy is like my first, I’ll spend much of the third trimester with morning all-day sickness—a lovely addition to feeling like someone stuck in one of those inflatable sumo wrestling outfits you see at the state fair.
Being pregnant while I have a toddler is no easy task, and despite my body utterly wearing out some days, I still want to take her on walks and wrestle and throw her into the air—not to mention put food on the table and work and snuggle my dog and support my husband etc., etc.
How to do all these things and still be a good mother to this unborn child growing inside me?
Besides finding my own fairy godmother, is there some magical way to bippity-boppity-boo my to-do list away, or at least occupy my toddler while I mellow out my activity level? If you have kids, what advice can you share?
I bet you are tired! Try to take it easy when you can. I know it’s hard having a toddler running around but you’re doing the right thing with scaling back. Congratulations on your new edition coming!
Thanks! Some days are definitely harder than others, but I’m trying not to overdo it!
I had to get OK with letting go in the third trimester. I could just barely stay awake until D was in bed, then I’d crawl into my own and hope for a better day tomorrow. Taking pressure away from to-dos and accepting my slower pace helped, though I can’t quite recall how. (Too tired to fight it?)
Too tired to fight it sounds about right. That’s what my first trimester looked like!
Oh I remember being pregnant and having a toddler well. It’s exhausting. We did lots of playdates so that my son would get his energy out, and then we’d have quite floor exploring time at home afterward, where I’d give him lots of toys and books and let him play and let his mind get creative while I watched without hovering – those were my little break times. It definitely preps you for letting go even more of the little things. Congrats again! You’re doing GREAT!
Thank you Marlynn! We definitely need to practice more with independent play. I’d love for her to play more on her own, giving me a moment’s rest, but that usually ends up in “How about read a book?” 😉
I remember vaguely my mom buying me LOTS of books to read and coloring books and such that I played by myself – definitely a lot more kiddie busy time that wasn’t as physical!
One thing that helped me was blowing up the inflatable mattress. I did it so I could lie down, but the kids then thought it was the most fun thing in the world to play on. So I lay on the couch and they played on that. Worked for a good week or so until they got bored of it. Also – sandboxes are magical for keeping kids entertained. Best afternoon my husband ever spent making that thing. Good luck. I remember that exhaustion.
Thank you Ali! We may have to take your advice and blow up an air mattress. I bet Peeper would love it!
I hope the third trimester is better for you this time around!
Thank you, Kira! Me too. 🙂
We were at the tulip festival this weekend too. Wasn’t it beautiful? I’m so sorry you’re getting to the more painful part of pregnancy. The good news is that it means you’re getting closer to meeting your little one.
You’re absolutely right! That’s a good perspective on the whole uncomfortable part of pregnancy. I’m glad you enjoyed the tulip festival too!
You just take a breath and remember that the baby will not care if his or her room is finished when they are born! When I was pregnant with my third we just took it one day at a time!
That’s good advice – thank you! It helps that we have very few expectations with prepping for #2 – no nursery decorations or new clothes or big parties.