Still thankful

It seems a little late for a Thanksgiving post, but a) I was feeling under the weather over the holiday and didn’t much feel like writing, and b) gratitude doesn’t have an expiration date.

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite days of the year because it’s the perfect time to reflect on the everyday blessings that are easy to take for granted in our busy lives. My family takes turn around the dinner table to say what we’re grateful for (usually while wearing a paper napkin on our head—a weird, inexplicable Ryan tradition).

Allow me, then, to pretend I’m wearing a napkin-hat and share a few things I marveled at over the holiday weekend. How—I mean how?—did I get so lucky? I am thankful for:

These photos were taken at Dorris Ranch, one of my favorite places on earth.
These photos were taken at Dorris Ranch, one of my favorite places on earth.
Peeper loved the tractor!
Peeper loved the tractor!

These goofballs. There is absolutely no one else I’d rather spend my days with.

Puddles - Ten Thousand Hour MamaFamily. Half my siblings live on the opposite end of the country and spent Thanksgiving with friends at a cabin in upstate New York, but my younger sister and her hubby braved the holiday traffic from Seattle to stay with my parents.

I didn’t see my relatives often when I grew up, so I especially value the time Peeper gets to spend with her grandparents, aunties, uncles and cousins. Plus, she’s always learning something from Auntie Amy—this time it was the best puddle-stomping techniques.

Grandpa Shempy joins Peeper for craft time.
Grandpa Shempy joins Peeper for craft time.

Abundance. We have more than enough to meet our needs. Our plates are full, our homes warm, our needs met. We have medical care. We are safe. Our water is clean.

Beyond basic necessities, we are surrounded by those who love us. We also have the opportunity to love others. Is there anything better than that?

Bubbles - Ten Thousand Hour Mama IMG_6367Growth. Now that I’m a mama, I get to see the world through Peeper’s eyes. She finds joy in everything—sprinting around her grandparents’ house, feeding Grandpa Shempy’s fish, picking up sticks, hugging Finn and chasing bubbles, to name a few. I, then, get to delight in the these things even more because of her toddler enthusiasm.

The world can feel depressing and cold, especially if you spend much time listening to the news. We could all use more wonder.

Toddler smiles - Ten Thousand Hour MamaI hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving, too! What are you grateful for?

Our favorite kids’ books: Singable stories

We sat cross-legged in a circle on the classroom’s thin-carpeted floor. I leaned forward toward Mrs. Weineger, my kindergarten teacher, and her spot in front of us eager 5-year-olds. I could barely contain myself in the moments before she opened the book.

Instead of simply reading Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?, she sang it. Later, she posted pictures of the colorful animals around the room, and we incorporated the song into our sing-alongs.

I think of Mrs. Weineger—her wide smile, the crinkly skin behind her large glasses, her fluffy orange hair (which, incidentally, made her look a lot like the teacher in Eric Carle’s book)—every time I sing this book to Peeper.

Our little bookworm loves it, and no surprise there: It combines two of her favorite things, books and song.

Here are a few of our other favorite singable stories. Clear your throat and make sure the windows are closed—you’ll want to sing these books over and over! Read more

Family reunion

I recently took my first trip without Peeper. After 16 months of spending every day together, I headed up to Seattle for a business trip. It was a short jaunt—I was gone only one night—but, as I wrote earlier, I worried how she and I would handle the separation.

It felt good to be busy. Between meetings and visiting my sister and brother-in-law, I didn’t have much time to dwell on how much I missed Peeper. When I had a few minutes of down time, I walked around and stumbled across the adorable Once Upon a Time toy store in Queen Anne and of course bought her a little present.

That night, though, as I sat in the quiet hotel room, loneliness threatened to swallow me. The spacious room with its two queen beds, sitting room and kitchen that seemed so luxurious in the day felt yawning and empty in the dark.

The next morning, we videochatted. Seeing Peeper’s smiles filled up the hollow space inside me. Peeper kept peering over the top of the computer on her end, looking for me.

Ten Thousand Hour MamaAs I drove home later that day, I imagined our ecstatic reunion—like the tearful homecomings you see at the airport or veterans seeing their loved ones after coming back from war. (I know, I have a very healthy imagination.) Impatient, I cursed 5pm traffic and watched the clock, predicting what Peeper would be up to at that moment. Read more

Sound effects and belly laughs: Remembering Car Talk’s Tom Magliozzi

Saturday mornings when I was growing up, 10am was a sacred time in our house. Every week, my dad turned the radio to our local public radio station. And on the hour, our home—or, if we were out and about, the Shempmobile (my dad’s peeling paint minivan)—was filled with the boisterous belly laughs of Click and Clack, the brothers behind the call-in show Car Talk.

I didn’t know anything about carburetors or timing belts or spark plugs (and, ah, still don’t). But the hosts’ mischievous sense of fun and the joy they so clearly found in the show was contagious. I found myself giggling along with Click and Clack as they helped (and poked fun at) the drivers trying to figure out what was wrong with their rides.

My favorite parts, of course, were when the brothers asked callers to mimic the noise their car was making. Their attempts to replicate the kathunk-crunch or wheeeeewheeeewheee or pathudpathud sound effects cracked me up every time.

Better yet was the way Click and Clack’s commentary made my dad laugh. An especially hilarious moment would leave him with tears streaming into his beard; once or twice a show, he’d end up in a coughing fit from laughing so hard.

Tom Magliozzi, the elder of the brothers, died on Monday. He had been suffering from Alzheimer’s disease, but an interview I heard yesterday with Car Talk’s executive producer said that he still laughed at jokes, even near the end.

NPR has been rerunning old shows for a while now, and I imagine they’ll continue to do so despite Tom’s death. But this week, I’ll miss his unapologetic passion for cars and helping people. He and his brother, Ray, brightened my childhood.

In his honor, I’ll be making car sound effects as I vrroooom around town. Rest well, Tom.

Travel without my toddler

Today I’m headed up to Seattle for a brief business trip—without Peeper. I’ve never been away from her for a night, and now that she’s almost 16 months old, I bit the bullet and scheduled this overdue outing.

I don’t know how it’ll go. I’ve been imagining two scenarios:

1. I take an uninterrupted bath, order room service, lounge around the hotel room in a cushy robe and watch cable.

2. I cry uncontrollably, Skype with my husband so I can see Peeper sleep on the baby monitor and go to my meetings with puffy eyes and an emotional hangover.

Thanks to some strange timing, today’s trip is a trial run. My sisters, brother and I are converging on Santa Fe for an unprecedented siblings weekend, so I’ll be spending three days away from her then, too.

I’m already feeling the guilt at leaving her, and I’m still at home. This’ll be hard—but hopefully rewarding, recharging and fun, too.

Wish us all luck.

Feeling grateful for the lack of a sugar hangover

The best part of having a toddler who could care less about trick-or-treating?

Not having a giant candy stash to gorge yourself on.

On Halloween, Eric and I took Peeper trick-or-treating at Multnomah Village, along with thousands of Elsas and Elmos and elephants. Parking was a zoo and shuffling along in the queue felt a little bit like going through TSA at an airport, but it was actually quite fun.

Halloween Multnomah Village - Ten Thousand Hour Mama

Lobster Halloween costume - Ten Thousand Hour MamaLobster Halloween costume - Ten Thousand Hour Mama Read more

From our pot to yours, happy Halloween!

Peeper is a bit afraid of other children on Halloween and every other day, so she wasn’t thrilled about the group photo. Thankfully, this little lobster cheered up and spent the rest of the play date happily throwing balls, nomming fruit and toppling headfirst into toy bins.
IMG_5844Lobster Halloween costumeHappy Halloween, everyone!

Own your c-section birth story

Now that I’ve entered the club of motherhood, I’ve noticed a lot of women feeling judged (by others and themselves) because they birthed their baby via c-section. Research also shows that dissatisfaction with your child’s birth is linked to postpartum depression, so I felt compelled to address the issue of women feeling as if they had failed by having a child surgically.

I wrote this piece for Fit Pregnancy about how to come to peace—and even embrace—your birth story. I talked with Brooke Kyle, MD, an OB who delivered all three of her kids in the OR.

“I do feel like there are a lot of pressures in my community and nationally that make people feel like their birth is less worthy if they have to choose a c-section, like they’re less of a mother and they didn’t try hard enough,” Dr. Kyle told me. “I even feel those pressures because I aim for a vaginal birth in my practice and that’s what I’m known for. The goal for my patients is to get a vaginal birth, and that was the plan for myself, too.”

Yet childbirth is unpredictable, and many of the things we script out—delivering vaginally, opting for a home birth, going med-free—change.

(A quick aside: Childbirth can be traumatic. It’s important to recognize that many women have a difficult time, and that a bouncing bairn is not the only legitimate concern. Validating mothers’ conflicted feelings around childbirth and their birth story shows them that they’re valued, too—that their worth is not limited to bringing a child into the world at any cost.)

Kyle shared with me a few tips on how she kicked the disappointment of delivering via cesarean and came to love her birth story.

Did you feel disappointed in how your child’s birth went? (No judgment here.) How did you come to terms with it?

Own your c-section birth story

Now that I’ve entered the club of motherhood, I’ve noticed a lot of women feeling judged (by others and themselves) because they birthed their baby via c-section. Research also shows that dissatisfaction with your child’s birth is linked to postpartum depression, so I felt compelled to address the issue of women feeling as if they had failed by having a child surgically.

I wrote this piece for Fit Pregnancy about how to come to peace—and even embrace—your birth story. I talked with Brooke Kyle, MD, an OB who delivered all three of her kids in the OR.

“I do feel like there are a lot of pressures in my community and nationally that make people feel like their birth is less worthy if they have to choose a c-section, like they’re less of a mother and they didn’t try hard enough,” Dr. Kyle told me. “I even feel those pressures because I aim for a vaginal birth in my practice and that’s what I’m known for. The goal for my patients is to get a vaginal birth, and that was the plan for myself, too.”

Yet childbirth is unpredictable, and many of the things we script out—delivering vaginally, opting for a home birth, going med-free—change.

(A quick aside: Childbirth can be traumatic. It’s important to recognize that many women have a difficult time, and that a bouncing bairn is not the only legitimate concern. Validating mothers’ conflicted feelings around childbirth and their birth story shows them that they’re valued, too—that their worth is not limited to bringing a child into the world at any cost.)

Kyle shared with me a few tips on how she kicked the disappointment of delivering via cesarean and came to love her birth story.

Did you feel disappointed in how your child’s birth went? (No judgment here.) How did you come to terms with it?