Get dirty and scuff your knees

We’ve been getting phenomenal weather here in Portland this week. I’ve been heading outside as often as possible to take advantage of the sun and soak up some much-needed vitamin D.

Yesterday a friend and I had planned to meet at the Oregon Zoo—that is, until I arrived and witnessed the mayhem that $4 admission day involves. After hunting for a parking space for altogether too long, we scrapped our plans and met at the park instead.

Peeper was probably just as happy playing on the lawn than she would have been looking at the elephants and cheetahs (although she’s really into animal books lately, especially the wonderfully interactive Dog and My Giant Fold-out Book of Animals). She and her buddy zoomed around the small patch of grass we claimed.

IMG_3632_2IMG_3622Peeper picked up leaves and grabbed dandelion petals. She toppled downhill—she’s clearly not used to crawling down an incline—but just looked around, surprised, when she righted herself. She paid no heed to sticks and muddy patches as she crawled here and there.

By the time we left, her hands and bare feet were all dirty, and the knees of her leggings were smudged with grass stains.

During my baby shower, friends and family took turns saying things they wished for my soon-to-be-born child. My mother-in-law wished that Peeper would be unafraid of getting dirty and take time to get acquainted with bugs. I carried the idea behind that blessing with me since, partly because I, too, love the idea of raising a child who won’t let a little dirt get in the way of her curiosity.

Extra scrubbing at bath time and stain remover are a small price to pay for the freedom of exploration. Grassy pants and dirty hands are proof of a day well spent.

What to do if you’re sick and have a baby

As my husband observed, being a mom means taking care of everyone else while you’re sick.

So true.

After all, when moms get sick, they still have to be moms.

Last week, I caught the flu or norovirus or plague. On the first night, I finished puking my guts out, fed Edie and then went back to hugging the toilet. That cycle repeated itself for her five wakings. Later in the day when I couldn’t get her down for a nap (just try to bounce a 14 ½-pound baby to sleep when your insides are like a Tilt-a-Whirl) I lugged her and her car seat, along with our dog whose ear infection was so bad it ruptured his ear drum, down to the car in the hopes that driving around would end her nap strike. (No dice.)

Yeah, it was a fun week.

When moms get sick, they still have to take care of the baby. Here's how to survive cold and flu season, mamas! Ten Thousand Hour Mama Read more

Swearing off parenting advice

I’m considering an early New Year’s resolution: to not read any more parenting articles online.

I just finished this one, about what babies need, and I’m pissed. While it’s probably mostly right, it also makes me feel judged. I’m so sick of hearing how stopping breastfeeding before the kid is a year old will make her ill, how sleeping in another room will cause her to become malnourished, or how doing any number of things wrong will “undermine their trust of others, their health and social wellbeing, and lead to self-centered morality which can do much destruction to the world.”

This article isn’t the only one of its kind. As a mom, I feel as if I am constantly bombarded with messages saying I am not doing enough, or what I am doing is wrong.

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Baby as your wedding plus-one

“After all, what’s better than love?”

Waaah!”

Edith waited for the perfect timing to yell during our friends’ wedding ceremony. She, apparently, can think of several things better than love: milk, naps, milk, boobs, milk. At least she didn’t pipe up when the officiant asked if anyone objected to the marriage.

Our good friends James and Laura got married two weeks ago in New York, and we were lucky enough to be able to join them for the celebration.

The happy couple quit the dance floor for a few moments to say goodbye to Edie.
The happy couple quit the dance floor for a few moments to pose with Edie, who thought her fancy dress tasted delicious.

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Flying with an infant: 9 tips for family travel

Family travel // Flying with an infant or baby // Ten Thousand Hour Mama

The day started inauspiciously. I couldn’t get back to sleep after Peeper’s 3am feeding, my head was pounding and I spent a good chunk of the morning hovering over the toilet and trying not to throw up. (No, I’m not pregnant.) It was as if the universe was telling me, “Good luck flying with an infant today!”

Eric peeked his head into the bathroom. “Should I look into rescheduling?” he asked.

I shook my head. We were getting to New York, no matter how many barf bags I had to use.

Spoiler: We made it!
Spoiler: We made it!

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Enjoy every moment? Try again.

Babies have a way of making nearly everyone within a 20-foot radius melt: Strangers coo; friends gasp at every squeal; grandparents are reduced to tears. Along with the mushy outpouring have come meals, well wishes and gifts. All are welcome—in fact, I probably wouldn’t have eaten at all the first few weeks without the baked orzo, salad and enchiladas friends delivered to us.

The one thing I wish no one would gift us, however, is the cheery exhortation to “enjoy every moment.”

Perhaps it’s easy to wish us this because of the nostalgia that wipes out memories of the parts of new parenthood that are not Kodak moments or the fact that strangers usually see us when Edith is either sleeping or contentedly looking around the world. Regardless of why, though, it’s demoralizing to be told that I should love every second of my new life as a mom.

Peeper exercises her lungs. (And if you look closely you can see her tongue tie.)
Peeper exercises her lungs. (And if you look closely you can see her tongue tie.)

In fact, I hate pumping. I fear that I’ll fall asleep and drop my baby when I try to lull her to sleep by bouncing on an exercise ball at 5:30 in the morning. My toes curl during the excruciating first minute of a latch while Edith demands that milk flow fast enough to splash her tonsils.

Does this mean I love my baby any less? I don’t think so.

I delight in naming every body part I kiss. (“I kiss your knee! I kiss your elbow! I kiss your other elbow!”) I think it’s hilarious when Edie poops on me during our bath time. I can stare for hours at her facial expressions when she sleeps, watching them change like the shadows cast on a landscape during a cloudy day.

I enjoy most moments with her, but certainly not all of them. One particularly crushing morning after almost no sleep, as I dissolved in front of a friend who has an 8-month-old, she nodded knowingly. “It’s ok to be in love and be miserable at the same time,” she told me.

That advice may not have the same Hallmark ring as “enjoy every moment,” but it’s a whole lot more useful.