Restore and replenish: My February monthly resolution

In my first yoga class in ages, the instructor began by asking us to put a hand on our heart and set an intention for our practice that day. The first thing that came to my mind: restore. I’ve been feeling burnt out physically, mentally and emotionally, so for my monthly resolution I’m focusing on replenishing my reserves and trying to get back to my usual self.

Restore and replenish my depleted self

Last month I resolved to get my house in order to have more time and energy to spend on the things that actually matter: my family, creativity, giving back to others. A summary post is coming to recap that monthly resolution, but I didn’t want to delay in putting February’s out there: to restore and replenish myself.

January has been hard. Everyone nods knowingly when I say this: “It’s so dark and dreary.” “It’s such a letdown after the holidays.” “It rains so much.”

Yet this month has been hard beyond the usual post-Christmas malaise and soggy sadness.

When I was talking to my older sister about it this week, I came upon this way to describe how I’m feeling: We typically draw from a well for everyday interactions, from writing a story for my job to managing the pre-dinner witching hour with hangry kids. But my well is dry. Depleted.

And I need to not only figure out why but to fill it back up.

I had planned on making February another go-get-’em month, bent on tackling another resolution like finally getting my emergency preparedness plans and supplies together, or creating art every day. But lately, sleep has taken precedence over nearly everything, and the idea of adding another project to my plate sounds overwhelming and exhausting.

Learning to give myself grace

I’m typically an energetic, goal-oriented person who loves to tick off to-do lists, so I hardly recognize the gal lately who just wants to curl up with a blanket and reread books from her childhood.

But that’s ok. We all go through periods in life where we’re up, and others when we’re down.

That said, I miss my usual self (and I’m pretty sure others—or at least my husband, who has been shouldering more home and family care lately—do, too).

This month, then, my monthly resolution is to restore myself: replenish my well and be gentle with myself.

My plan to restore and replenish

Although my kick-a self is in hibernation, I still like plans and action items. Here’s what my monthly resolution will entail.

• Rule out or address possible underlying medical reasons behind my change
• Find activities that make me feel good—and do them
• Let go of the pressure to do activities that other people say should make me feel good—but feel too difficult or like a chore
• Stop doing the non-necessary things that deplete instead of restore me
• Communicate with my husband, friends and colleagues so I don’t feel isolated and so they understand my lower energy
• Give myself permission to back away from commitments—without guilt or shame
• Be kind to myself

The beauty of online support

Apologies, friends, if it seems as if I’ve ghosted you or been extra-flaky lately. If ever there were a situation where the phrase “It’s not you, it’s me” rang true, this is it.

So if I see you less often in person this month, thank you for your patience, support and love. I’ll see you on the other side.